Who I Am
Galatians 2:20
I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.
There was a story going around some years ago about a man who went to confessional and began to tell his priest all about his many sins. He listed the sins and then went into excruciating details. The priest finally stopped him and said, “My son, I do believe you have gone past confessing and went on to bragging.”
At a church I went to some years ago the pastor would often ask for testimonies. I would cringe when he did because we had a few Saints who would also go past testifying and go on to bragging. It seems they were more proud of the sinful lives they had lived than the Christian life they now living. They were the ones you hoped you didn’t sit near during After Glows, Pot Lucks and Picnics. Drinking, drugs, fooling around, mistreating spouses and kids, cheating on taxes and business associates, oh my!
Then there were those who had failed at something in life, and usually failed big. They would confess about how badly they had screwed up their lives. And no one had ever done as badly in life as they had.
I’ve made some major-league mistakes in life, too. One of my failings is to keep going over past mistakes in my mind and play the game of “What I Should Have Done.” Why do we choose to spend so much time in the past, which is over and done and cannot be altered, and fail to spend our energy living in the present, where we live in the middle of endless possibilities?
Is it that we feel so bad about our lives that we dwell on past failings to make us feel better about our lives today? Are we so unsatisfied with our lives that we’d rather live in past failures? Why are we so caught up in who we were that we don’t appreciate who we’ve become? I wish I had an answer because so many people need an answer.
These people seem to live under a type of “victim mentality” and spend a lot of time either blaming someone else for their failures or blaming themselves. They often begin a sentence with something like, "If only . . ." and "My life would be so much better today if. . ." Living like that just sucks the joy out of your life. You can always find bad decisions in your past and places where a different action on your part would change the outcome of some past event and make it a better memory. But the past is closed to you, you cannot change it. You can only learn from it.
One of the most liberating things I have ever learned was that I can let go of my past. When I got saved and let Jesus into my heart, a "great exchange" occurred. I took my past failures and mistakes and bad judgment calls and placed them at the foot of the cross. Then Jesus gave me a new life – His life. Christ came to live in me. So my life isn't my own anymore, it belongs to Jesus. I am now just "managing" the new life Jesus gave me.
And I’ll admit, I’ve tried to go back from time to time and visit those old bad memories. But the Holy Spirit has been faithful in reminding me that those are gone and aren’t really there anymore. He has taught me to look at what my new life is and to look at the world around me through new eyes. I am who I am and I survive life by God’s love and God’s grace. By letting go of the past I can embrace this love and this grace with both arms. I can experience life without the pain of old wounds and I have forgiven those who caused me to stumble. Living without bitterness is so freeing!
Do you need to take this step today? Don't put it off. The past is gone, the future without God is uncertain, but today is here and loaded with possibilities! Pray today and give your past to God. Let Him have it and walk away, and let today open up for you.
Stephen Cram July 8, 2012 Colossians 2:8
Beware lest anyone cheat you through philosophy and empty deceit, according to the tradition of men, according to the basic principles of the world, and not according to Christ. Colossians 2:8
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